Advent Day 10

Today was the Hemmer Family Christmas.  John and I had our photo taken since we were in our best Christmas outfits.  I noticed I forgot to remove Max's nuk from my belt..... dang that so clashes with my outfit.  

We all had a great day.  Mom and Dad Hemmer just sat and watched their crazy kids, grandkids, and great grandkids play games and get their photos taken.  Mom said to me twice how she loved it and in her words "look what we started".    The party was an Ugly Christmas Sweater requirement.  I think I might go into withdrawals not visiting the local consignment and thrift stores during my lunch and after work.  I started to feel like a regular looking for treasures to complete the details.

Our party was at the hunting cabin so we were gone from late morning until 10:30pm, on our way home when we turned onto our road I felt something was wrong, it was a sick-sense that I quickly passed off.  I never, never listen to the answer machine, I don't even look at it.  John always does that, there could be a message for a week and I'd never see the light blinking.  Well for some reason as we were laughing about the good times and hideous sweaters everyone had I noticed the light blinking and I pushed the button.  My sister Starla had called to tell me Grandma had died today.  My laughs quickly turned into tears.  I felt bad celebrating all day when my family was dealing with heavy hearts.  The guilt was over whelming at that moment, I felt like the worst granddaughter ever.  My grandma has had a long life and is now able to see 3 of her own children and Grandpa again.  I went to bed and cried not only for my Grandma but also cried tears again like the day I lost my mom.  Those memories came back like it was yesterday, my grandma and grandpa kneeling by my mothers bedside weeping as their oldest child fights for her life and we all knew it was a losing battle.  I will never forget standing at that bed and I blurted out of the blue "I love you mom" (that is something we just never said) and my Grandma says "she knows that".   She did know that but I wanted to hear myself say it.

We had such a great day with family and had so many laughs, you never know when a loved one is going to be called home to Jesus.  Treasure every day like it's your last and blurt out "I LOVE YOU" even if they already know it.  

I love you Grandma and give my mom a big hug for me and tell her I miss her terribly.