Spider Scratching

So last night as we're watching TV out of the corner of my eye I see a movement, I quickly snap my head to see a big ol' hairy spider crawling across the carpet.  OMG I hate spiders, I'm okay with them outside but in my house is not acceptable.  I scream to John and point...... he says "what?".  Why is it that guys can see you're upset and pointing to the exact location of the object that is causing you to interrupt their tv show and they still have to ask "what?"  like they don't see anything.  It had stopped in it's tracks with my screaming so I scream to John, hurry get it before it crawls away!!!  Oh he's not gonna hurt you.  GET IT ALREADY!!  I don't have anything to get it with..... I DON'T CARE, USE YOUR FOOT..... PLEASE GET THE STUPID SPIDER ALREADY.  As he slowly gets out of his chair and moves across the carpet on his hands and knees while I'm hanging from the ceiling fan....  He fakes a swipe like he's going to fling it at me..... more shrill screams.  And then he squishes it, my hero!!

So moving onto a couple hours later we go to bed and I put the fancy pillows on the floor along side my side of the bed.  I'm trying to fall asleep and all I hear is "scratch, scratch, scratch"..... it's the spider and I piled the pillows on top of him and he's trying to get out.  I force my eyes shut and pray for sleep to happen fast.  Scratch, scratch, scratch..... I ask John..... do you hear that?  what?  Can't you hear that scratching?  No, he falls back asleep.  Scratch, Scratch..... oh boy I sit up in bed trying to hear where the scratching is coming from.  John get annoyed with my wiggling and trys to hear what I hear..... "you got damn good hearing, I don't hear anything"  I again try to fall asleep and can't do it, it's a noise I can't figure out and therefore I can't sleep.  I sit up again.......   WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU HEAR?...... someone's cranky.  After my CSI investigation in the dark I found that the window wasn't all the way locked and it was making a noise.... locked the window and wha.la.... sleep happened.